When Compassion Becomes the Foundation

ECS is committed to supporting our neighbors in need so we can excel together. Photo Courtesy of Zac Durante/Unsplash.

Episcopal Community Services (ECS) has been uplifting San Diegans for nearly a century. Although its services have changed and some programs have come and gone, its mission to break barriers and transform communities has remained steadfast. 

John has witnessed the lasting heartbeat of ECS firsthand. A client of ECS in the 90s and a supportive volunteer through the years after, John has not only felt the impact of ECS but has lent a hand to carrying the intention of compassionate service forward.  

When John moved from New Orleans to San Diego to join the Navy, he didn’t know that he was already developing a substance use disorder (SUD). When he overheard a few of his new acquaintances talking about getting drugs downtown, he became interested, so he ventured downtown, made a purchase, and was arrested the very same day. When his urinalysis came back positive for drugs, the Navy no longer wanted to retain him. They gave him the option to go to rehab or back home to New Orleans. “I knew that if I went back home, I was going to be dead,” John said. So, he accepted the help and went to rehab. However, challenges awaited him when he finished the program. “I found out that once I got back to San Diego that I was going to be kicked out [of the Navy] and once I was kicked out, I was going to be homeless,” he explained. 

With only his seabag full of clothes and his final paycheck from the Navy, John was left on his own. He saw a glimmer of hope when he was hired at a new job, but he had no place to go. Then he heard about ECS’ transitional housing program. “God was working in my life,” John said. After a period of waiting, a spot finally opened at the program. John recalled going to the program to interview for the spot and meeting the program manager Linda Thomas, who John described as a “beautiful soul.”  

One of the requirements for the program was a paystub to prove employment. John’s new job did not start until the following week, so he had nothing to show Linda. But he shared his story with her and “she saw the desperation in my eyes and saw that I wasn't running a story on her... so she made an exception,” and John moved in that night.  

“I showed up there at 21 years old with literally no living skills, no responsibilities, other than knowing I needed to survive. I needed to stay clean and sober,” John said. The staff — including Linda and two other staff members, Loren and Cynthia — quickly took him under their wings, checking in on him and supporting him the whole way. “I learned a lot of things. I learned how to be responsible; they gave me the chance to go to school and work and save money.” Cynthia even baked him a cake to celebrate his first year of sobriety.  

The program also led John to his best friend who encouraged him to pursue his goals, such as becoming a registered nurse (RN). “About nine months in, I met my best friend, we became roommates. He’s still my best friend, he’s still sober 34 years,” he said.  

John graduated from the program, maintained sobriety, attended and graduated from college, became an RN, got married, and had two children. “My life has progressively gotten better as a result of all those things I learned at ECS,” he said. 

The services John received at ECS allowed him to grow, build a foundation, and give back. Photo Courtesy of Lina Trochez/Unsplash.

After that transitional housing location closed, John lost contact with the staff members, but he wanted to share his successes with Linda. He wrote letters to four different “Linda Thomases.” “Two of the people wrote back and said, ‘I’m not the Linda Thomas you’re looking for, but you’ve inspired me’... it was a cool side effect of an accident,” he said. Luckily, one of the letters found the right Linda Thomas. He was able to introduce her to his children and “thank her in person for giving me a chance... for seeing something in me that I didn’t see in myself at the time,” John said. 

John was also able to ask Linda how he could continue his journey with ECS. “I always wanted to be kind to people and be helpful, and — especially with ECS — give back,” he said. One day, after speaking with her on the phone about volunteer opportunities, a van pulled up next to John that caught his attention. “It was an ECS vehicle,” he said. “I wrote the phone number down, made the calls, got plugged in, and started to volunteer.” From handyman tasks to cooking Thanksgiving dinner to sponsoring a family through Family-to-Family for the Holidays, John has extended his services to ECS. “I owe my life to the program. It gave me the foundation I needed,” he said.   

ECS staff, volunteers, donors, and board members are dedicated to creating an abundant and equitable society where all have unlimited potential and will continue to work towards these ideals for years to come. To learn more about volunteer opportunities with ECS, visit ecscalifornia.org/volunteer

Moonlight Ball 2025: One Family’s Courage Made Room for Healing

Jessica, George, and Leilani engage in PLF therapy session as a family. February 2025.

Parenting brings joy, but also pressure that can have serious consequences. A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 33% of parents reported high stress in the past month, compared to 20% of other adults. Nearly half said their stress was overwhelming most days, compared to 26% of non-parents. These findings were highlighted in the U.S. Surgeon General’s Parents Under Pressure advisory, released in August 2024, underscoring the toll parental stress takes on health.

Parents have to worry about finances, work, their child’s health, education, general happiness, and so much more. The pressure to excel at all these tasks creates stress, which can impact their own life, as well as the child’s development.

PLF lifts stress from parents like Jessica and George and builds trust between parent and child. *April 2025.

Jessica felt this pressure when her daughter Leilani began to display extreme behavioral issues at age three. “It just felt like the intensity of her emotions was just at another level to where we couldn't take her places,” Jessica said. “Everything was thin ice around her.” Leilani had no filter. She let out her frustration in outbursts, was impulsive, and had trouble focusing.

Routine activities became increasingly difficult. Leilani would demand things and refuse to accept “no” for an answer. “She would say hurtful things and I would be so embarrassed, but she was doing it to get under my skin, to make me give in,” Jessica said. The parent-child dynamic was off balance, leaving the child with control.

George feels the impact of PLF on his relationship with his daughter and his parenting skills. *April 2025.

At home, Jessica and her husband George tried different strategies to handle Leilani’s defiance — rewards, schedules, routines, timeouts — but nothing worked. Frustration in the household grew, and so did the pressure.

Jessica hoped that starting school would help regulate Leilani’s behavior. Unfortunately, that was not the case. “I was very hopeful that things were going to turn around, but it just seemed to open another door of anxiety because it was a different environment, so that was challenging on top of the behavior,” she explained.

PLF helps Leilani process her emotions and deal with change in a healthy way. *April 2025.

At school, Leilani was too controlling while playing with others and often let her emotions get the best of her, resulting in outbursts. She even attempted to leave the school on a few occasions. Although she was doing well academically, her parents ultimately decided to hold her back from transitioning to kindergarten because she wasn’t ready to move up emotionally; the idea of change was overwhelming.

As issues stacked up, Jessica lost her confidence as a parent. She and George have two adult daughters, so when Leilani came along, they felt ready. But the techniques they used with their other children did not work with their youngest. “I felt like a failure, like I must be doing something wrong…,” Jessica said.

While Jessica struggled at home, Leilani’s ECS Head Start teachers noticed the same challenges at school. They partnered with her parents to continue home strategies in the classroom, and while it helped a little, the behavioral issues remained. Still, her teachers knew what to do next, and connected the family to Para Las Familias.

Leilani and her therapist Itzel. *April 2025.

ECS Para Las Familias (PLF) is an outpatient behavioral and mental health clinic that provides bilingual early childhood mental health services to low-income children ages 0 to 12. Children can display behavioral problems for several reasons; PLF gives caregivers practical tools to understand their child’s behaviors by building trust and improving everyday family communication.

Jessica admitted that she and her husband were nervous at first. Would Leilani behave in therapy? Would her outbursts reflect poorly on them? Jessica and George decided to attend every session with Leilani, working together to find solutions as a family. “It was a slow process,” Jessica said. “But right when we got towards the end, it was like a tremendous turnaround.”

PLF taught Jessica and George a variety of tools to guide Leilani with compassion and understanding. One of Jessica’s favorite exercises was “video situations.” After getting the parents’ permission, the therapist would record parent/child interactions and then watch it with the parents to observe from an outsider’s point of view. This activity helped Jessica learn what behaviors needed to be adjusted at home.

With the help of PLF, Leilani’s true strengths can now shine true, which are recognized by her parents and teachers. *April 2025.

Eventually, things began to change for Jessica and her family. “When our friends and neighbors noticed it; that’s when it hit us that it was working,” she said. “The sessions changed our lives for the better.”

Now, Leilani cooperates with chores, homework, and school. If she’s not in a good mood, Jessica can read Leilani’s body language, communicate effectively, and compromise.

Leilani has blossomed thanks to PLF. She is open, understanding, and respectful. One of her teachers even described her as “noble,” a word of praise that brought smiles to her parents’ faces. She is excelling academically and has a big heart, making friends with everyone she meets.

Leilani celebrates her graduation from ECS Head Start. *April 2025.

Now a kindergartener, Leilani still has a great relationship with her Head Start teachers. "They helped her through the process. They too were part of the healing process for her," she said.

As Leilani’s behavior improved, Jessica and George regained their confidence and now work together as a team to do what’s best for their daughter.

PLF created space for Jessica and her family to heal and grow together. February 2025.

Jessica sings PLF’s praises. “I totally recommend it. Any time anybody tells me they’re having issues I tell them you need to look into this program,” she said. “It really helped my family... it’s hopeful.” For many families, PLF is the first step in the development of a healthy and emotionally intelligent adult. This program is making a difference in the community, one family at a time. To learn more about PLF, visit Para Las Familias — Episcopal Community Services.

*Caption dates may not be exact.

Thank You for Creating Memories with Family-to-Family 2024!

This Christmas Eve, the spirit of giving shines bright at ECS. Through our Family-to-Family for the Holidays program, 84 families and 365 individuals experienced even more joy this season.

Thank you, Angel Ibarra, Associate Director of Strategic Partnerships & Government Affairs, for your leadership, and to our incredible Head Start, Para Las Familias, Central East Regional Recovery Center, and ACCORD staff for partnering with him to bring this meaningful program to life for ECS families.

We are also deeply grateful to the parish communities of St. Paul’s Cathedral and St. Dunstan’s Episcopal Church, along with an individual donor, whose generous contributions made it possible to provide gifts for clients at Uptown and C-HRT Safe Havens, spreading holiday cheer even further.

To each of our incredible donors, your generosity has turned holiday wishes into reality for so many. You’ve truly made this season memorable!

Thank you to everyone who participated in Family-to-Family this year. December 2024.

Family-to-Family sponsors help create lasting memories for ECS children. December 2024.

Holiday Cheer at UTSH

Volunteers add Christmas spirit to UTSH. December 2024.

Last weekend, volunteers from St Paul's Episcopal Cathedral, U.S. Bank, San Diego Gas & Electric, and our local community brought holiday cheer to ECS Uptown Safe Haven. Residents joined the festivities, decorated a beautiful tree, and added magical touches to their home.

Thank you to all of the wonderful people who helped decorate the safe haven facility. December 2024.

We extend a heartfelt thank you to St. Paul’s, U.S. Bank, and SDG&E for making this project so special. Your generosity brought warmth and joy to our Safe Haven residents during this season of giving.

The decoration event brough cheer to volunteers and residents alike. December 2024.

UTSH residents joined in crafting decorations. December 2024.