Lighting Up With Joy: Family-to-Family 2025

A little girl beams standing with her gifts from Family-to-Family. December 2024.

Family-to-Family for the Holidays is one of ECS’ most beloved traditions. Each year, people sign up to sponsor ECS families and help provide gifts for the holiday season. The holidays are a special time of year, and no child deserves to go without. In 2025, Family-to-Family will provide gifts for 383 neighbors from 88 families.

Family-to-Family requires the work of many ECS staff members, including Family Engagement Specialist Heidi Avent.

Since the Family-to-Family program first started, Heidi has been involved as a coordinator, working with family service technicians (FSTs), site supervisors, and home visitors to select families that would benefit from the program.

This year, the process has shifted so that staff who interact more closely with the families are leading the selection process, but Heidi is thrilled to continue to watch the program grow and bring Christmas magic to dozens of families. “It’s been a blessing,” she said.

ECS provides gifts for the entire family. December 2024.

Family-to-Family brings holiday magic to those in need. December 2024.

Heidi shared that Family-to-Family is “one of the main resources for our families for the holidays.” Without it, the holidays would be a far more difficult time.

Family-to-Family would not be possible without the sponsors who volunteer to provide gifts for ECS families. Heidi expressed her appreciation for the sponsors. “The donations that the donors give to the families – it’s amazing, my mouth drops. They take the time to get what the families requested and make the families feel special this time of year,” she said. “I’m so thankful to know there are actually people out there who care and take the time to care for our families.”

Carly Montagne, CFO at Torrey Pines Landscape Company, has been a Family-to-Family sponsor for three years. The first year, she signed up as an individual, and after that she sponsored with her colleagues at Torrey Pines Landscape Company. “Everyone gets so excited, it makes everybody feel super in the Christmas spirit since they’re doing something for someone,” she said.

A mother and child smile with their gifts. December 2024.

An Episcopalian and member of St. Alban’s Episcopal Church, Carly has volunteered with her parish in many ways over the years. When she saw the sign up for Family-to-Family in the Diocese newsletter, she decided to try a new way of giving back and sponsor a family.

Carly recalled her first trip delivering gifts to her sponsored family. “The mom was crying the entire time, ‘this is all for us? I can’t believe it.’ I was in tears the whole drive home,” she said.

Carly showcases neighborly love and holiday spirit by going above and beyond with her sponsor duties. The first year she sponsored, she volunteered to take on an additional family who had no sponsor match. This year, she asked ECS again about any unmatched families, and through her family, friends, and colleagues, Carly found matches for six additional families.

“Anything we can do to support and give back is one of the most important things we can do,” she said. “That’s what Jesus would want, he said ‘give them the shirt off your back,’ so how can I do less?”

This year, ECS is inviting all of its community members to reflect on how they light the season with love. Carly shared that “to me, it means there is no Christmas without love... love should light our lives and our decisions; the world would be a much better place.”

Family-to-Family sponsors are touching hearts and lives through their generosity, lighting up the season for children excited to receive gifts, and even more for parents who get to see joy on their children’s faces.

“You just see the joy and appreciation in their faces, that ECS is able to help them. It’s helped so many families in our community,” Heidi shared. “It’s a season of hope; they’re giving hope to our families.”

To learn more ways you can give hope to ECS families, students, and clients, visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/ways-to-give.

Sponsoring a family creates real impact and lasting memories. December 2024.

Family-to-Family creates hope and happiness for dozens of families each year. December 2024.

Teaming Up With PLF

PLF brought Micheal, Gabriela, Olivia, and Elizabeth closer as a family. September 2025.

A family is a team, working together like a well-oiled machine to face challenges as a unit. A team can choose to give up when obstacles pop up, or they can choose to rally behind each other and try to fix the situation. That is exactly what Gabriela and Micheal did.

Gabriela and Micheal have two daughters, Olivia, 8, and Elizabeth, 6. They recently completed sixth months of family therapy with Olivia at ECS Para Las Familias (PLF).

Before PLF, Olivia exhibited behavioral issues that left her parents very concerned. She experienced severe breakdowns, occurring multiple nights in a row on many occasions. “We couldn't really get her under control,” Micheal said. “She was hating herself and saying things bad about herself.” Her parents recalled instances where she would go so far as to kick the walls or doors or even hit herself. It was a constant struggle.

But the hurt felt by the situation went beyond just Olivia. “Elizabeth would break down and cry a lot of times when [Olivia] was throwing her tantrums,” Micheal said.

Gabriela and Micheal strived for balanced teamwork through the breakdowns and their relationship remained steady, but they were under immense stress. “I found ourselves constantly on edge, because we had just finished having to deal with the tantrums, and the outbursts, and then any little thing was bothering us, because we were already exhausted,” Gabriela explained.

Despite their efforts, nothing worked. “I think we felt pretty desperate to find a solution, some help, someone that can explain why she's going through this,” Gabriela said.

Thankfully, family friends Jessica and George told Gabriela and Micheal about PLF. “Their daughter [Leilani] and Olivia have similar traits and when they said that they learned techniques and that they see a difference – and we saw a difference – I was like, ‘Get me in, get me in,’” Gabriela said.

The family approached PLF as a team. Gabriela and Micheal knew it was crucial that they both attended with Olivia. They were nervous, but to their excitement, they began to see a change in their daughter.

The key to overcoming this challenge though, didn’t lie just with Olivia: it was a family affair. Gabriela and Micheal attended PLF’s parenting class in conjunction with the therapy. With the help of PLF therapist Andrea, they learned a variety of tools they could implement in their parenting to better support and guide their children. “We wanted her to know that we were there when she was upset,” Gabriela said. “We'll let her know... ‘I'm gonna be right here.’”

Family therapy sessions and parenting classes helped Olivia and her parents build understanding and communicate effectively. September 2025.

As they continued therapy with PLF therapist Joana, Olivia displayed clear growth. She learned new ways to cope with big emotions and became more social. Her parents even observed her using games and lessons from PLF to share her newfound wisdom with her little sister.

Gabriela and Micheal shared that they feel the lessons the entire family learned from PLF will stick with them for life and would be beneficial to any family. “I think anybody that has kids for the first time should take the parenting class,” Micheal said. “I think it's very helpful, even if you don't have a kid that's having breakdowns, because some of the stuff they teach you is good for babies... I think some of those techniques would have been nice to implement a lot younger.”

PLF gave Gabriela, Micheal, and their daughters many tools and techniques to work better as a team, all at no cost to the family. “I thought the therapy was really expensive,” she said. “Everybody makes it seem like it's a very privileged thing to go to. When families are struggling it's really good that [ECS is] able to offer stuff like that.” No family should be without help due to their financial situation. Providing free therapy, parenting classes, and childcare all at PLF makes help accessible to any family.

A weight is lifted off the whole family. “It's not gonna be perfect, and I didn't expect not to have any problems or issues, but it is like night and day... sometimes I just go, ‘Wow, she's so mature now,’” Gabriela said. “Every single day, we look forward to the next day, because it was like a new beginning.”

To learn more about Para Las Familias visit www.ecscalifornia.org/para-las-familias.

A Warm Welcome

Head Start gave Alma and Oscar a sense of peace and security when they sent Olivia to preschool. March 2025.

Before Head Start, Olivia, a three-year-old diagnosed with cerebral palsy, was attending physical therapy to help with her upper core mobility. The therapy was going well, but Olivia was very shy and lacked confidence. She was learning at home, but she had no outlet to develop socially and was not talking much, causing her parents — Alma and Oscar — concern. 

Understandably, Alma and Oscar were anxious about their daughter going to school for the first time. “We were very hesitant, scared at the beginning,” Alma shared. Would Olivia be cared for? Would her disability affect her preschool experience? Would she be comfortable in an unfamiliar environment?  

Luckily, Alma’s sister told them about ECS Head Start. When they discovered that a Head Start center was only a few blocks from Alma’s job, they knew they had found a place for Olivia to begin her education, but the program exceeded their expectations, transforming from a school to a family. 

Olivia blossomed with the support of Head Start. *July 2025.

 The growth Alma and Oscar have seen in their daughter is powerful. “As soon as she started coming here for, like, a week, she was just so much more open. Her attitude changed,” Oscar said. The warm and welcoming environment of Head Start helped Olivia to open up to those around her. “I noticed within the week, she started to try to talk and stuff because other kids were talking.”    

As an only child, the chance for Olivia to play and bond with other children has made a huge difference. “I think it brought more of her personality out, because she likes to be around other people and other kids, especially,” Alma said. “That's where we saw a lot of change in her.” Preschool is a crucial time for young learners to develop social skills, and ECS Head Start prioritizes that development. “She's super confident for everything that's going on with her and then it's really helped her to express how she feels, what she wants,” Alma said.   

Head Start embraces and accommodates each child so they can thrive. *July 2025.

The warm ECS embrace that Olivia experienced expands from the teachers and staff to the other children. “It is nice to see that she is accepted here, and everybody loves her. It's nice to feel that,” her mother said. “It's like a big family. I see all the teachers saying, ‘good morning’ and ‘bye’ to Olivia. I don't know all the teachers, but they definitely know her.”  

Head Start has also provided Olivia with a deeply enriching academic experience. “She's learned a lot. She's learned her numbers, her colors, her shapes,” Alma said. “She's a really good listener and she asks a lot of questions, and she always wants to know everything.” 

The teachers meet with parents to set goals for their children, then work hand-in-hand with them to accomplish those goals. The staff is accommodating and considerate toward each child, which was especially impactful for Olivia’s needs. “There's always been somebody holding my daughter or within arm's reach of her, so I know that she's safe,” Oscar said.   

Head Start established a key academic and social-emotional foundation for Olivia. *July 2025.

Olivia has enjoyed ECS Head Start throughout the past three years, but this year she will be off to a new adventure: kindergarten. Her parents are sad to leave the program, but they expressed that it has prepared her for the next step. “I think she's ready. I think she’s been ready,” Alma said. “They prepared her.” The once quiet and reserved Olivia has transformed into a confident young girl ready to take on whatever is next.  

Head Start aims to provide a wholistic education, caring for each student academically, socially, and beyond. “I wouldn’t change this experience for her for any other school,” Oscar said. Oscar and Alma recommend Head Start to any other family looking for quality early childhood education. “The experience has been great, and I don't have anything else to say other than ‘bring your kids.’ It's a great place.” 

To learn more about Head Start and how the quality early childhood education could benefit you and your children visit Head Start & Early Head Start — Episcopal Community Services. 

*Caption dates may not be exact.

Kindness Overcomes

Alice enjoys tending to the garden at UTSH. August 2025.

In the US, 21.1% of individuals experiencing homelessness also have a severe mental health condition. Serious mental illness (SMI) can majorly interfere with life activities and create unique obstacles for the people dealing with SMI. People like Alice.  

Alice, a resident of Uptown Safe Haven (UTSH) since January, is known for her kindness, generosity, and dedication, but mental illness has created challenging obstacles along her path. “I am bipolar schizophrenic affected,” Alice said. About every two years, she has a severe mental breakdown. Alice has long followed this pattern of breakdown, to hospitalization, to stabilization, and eventually a return to her typical life routine — living at her parents’ house and working. 

After nine years at the same job, Alice suffered a severe breakdown that resulted in six months of hospitalization followed by six months of care at a crisis house afterward. During her time at the hospital, Alice’s sister and brother-in-law convinced her parents to reject any attempt Alice made to return home. And, because she was under care for a year, her position at her job was no longer available upon her release. Alice was homeless with no one to turn to. 

The crisis house could not keep Alice any longer, so they sent her out with nothing but the belongings she arrived with and a $5 bus pass.  

Art gifted to Alice by friends hangs on the wall of her room at UTSH. August 2025.

Still, Alice was resourceful. After a difficult night spent sleeping on the trolley for safety, she took action. Alice was able to access her savings, acquire Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI), and through those funds, complete her associate in accounting. Finally, her life was back on track. Until she was hit with yet another breakdown. “I'm good when I'm good and then I'm not when I'm not,” she said. 

After that, Alice lost her SSDI and hopped from one job to the next between breakdowns. “I was so unstable,” she said. After a particularly bad breakdown, she returned to her parents’ house only to learn that her brother-in-law, in an effort to keep Alice and her breakdowns at bay, had obtained a restraining order against Alice with both of her parents listed on it. She violated the restraining order in a state of psychosis and promptly turned herself in.  

After five challenging months in jail, Alice was released and placed in an independent living facility where she began psychiatric therapy. “I learned how to identify my mental illness, which is something I never knew before,” Alice said. “I learned how to calm it down; I learned how to overcome the mental illness.” Alice practiced techniques and found a better medication plan to help manage her symptoms. “I was impressed because everything was working. It wasn't panic attack, hospital, you know, it was panic attack, grounding techniques, medication, back on track,” she said. “It was a whole different path than what I was used to.” 

While at the independent living facility, Alice got a new job. However, as her hours increased during the holiday rush, she was told she no longer qualified for free housing with that program, and the rent was more expensive than what she could afford. Just as she felt hope dissipating again, she learned about an opportunity to move to transitional housing at Uptown Safe Haven.  

Life changed for Alice after moving to UTSH. She continued therapy, managing her mental illness more day by day, and participated in support groups led by Keith, an UTSH staff member. The staff offered her continuous support and kindness. “The staff is so nice to me. I mean they’re the best,” Alice said. “I realized that not all people are bad. There are people who are good, there are people who understand, there are people who work with you to make it better for you. And that's what I found here.”   

Alice praises the compassion of the staff, but their admiration for her thoughtfulness shines just as bright. Alice frequently goes above and beyond her mandatory chores, ensuring that the facility is in perfect condition for her fellow residents and she volunteers with Voices of Our City Choir. But the kindness that Alice is perhaps best known for is her birthday cake tradition. 

Alice keeps a box of cake mix in her room so she is prepared for upcoming celebrations. August 2025.

“When I was little, my birthday was overlooked a lot,” Alice explained. That lingering feeling pushed her to ensure no one at UTSH ever felt that way, so she started baking cakes for everyone’s birthdays, and even for some residents’ sobriety anniversaries. “I've done cakes for everybody... I think people like to be recognized and make sure everyone feels special.” 

UTSH brought stability to Alice’s life. It also gave her a clean slate, helping to clear her criminal record. A few months ago, Alice went before a judge to address the charges on her record from violating the restraining order. During her court session, the judge pulled out a letter written by Raul, UTSH’s Program Manager, vouching for Alice’s character. “I feel compelled to write this letter to support Alice because she has been one of the most outstanding residents we've had during my time as program manager,” the letter read. “Her positive energy, reliability, and eagerness to grow makes her a valuable member of both our program and the broader community.”  

“[The judge] asked me, ‘do you know what this letter says?’” Alice recalled. “I just nodded. I couldn't even speak. I was too busy crying. And she says, ‘this is the kind of letter that sways me.’ And she expunged my record.” 

Through counseling, community activities, and pitching in with chores, Alice has prepared herself for independent living. Just a few weeks ago, Alice was approved for her own apartment. Her goal is to take that next step toward her future by living on her own and eventually using her degree to get a job as an accounting assistant or administrator. 

UTSH helped Alice suppress her fears, regain her confidence, and prepare for independent living. August 2025.

Because of her mental illness, Alice used to live in constant fear. She had to pick herself up and start over all alone, time and time again. “But with the support that I have, especially from Uptown Safe Haven, it's really different,” Alice said. “If it wasn't for programs like this, I wouldn't have an opportunity to have my own place. And to actually be in an environment where you learn to live in your own place makes it so that you have a better outcome when you do get there.” 

Alice expressed immense gratitude for the UTSH staff, ECS donors, Downtown Impact, San Diego Housing Commission, and God. 

To learn more about the incredible work of UTSH, visit ECS Uptown Safe Haven.